Word of the Day: Irony
This word defies definition, not because it does not have
one, but because it recursively defines itself to the point that it encompasses
the entire universe. Here is how this is possible.
I will start with an analogy. Trying to define irony is similar
to a time travel paradox. Say you were visited by yourself from the future and
given some knowledge to tell your past self at some point in the future. Your
future self learned that information from yourself to tell yourself, with no
clear point at which that knowledge was gained. It's just a recursive loop with
no beginning and no end. So it is with the definition of irony.
The official definition is this: "The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite
of its literal meaning."
But that is no different from sarcasm. True irony would be a
sarcastic remark that is actually not sarcastic at all, but an accurate one
that was either accidentally understood to be sarcastic when it was actually
not, even though it was intended to be sarcastic when it was spoken and yet it
was completely serious, unless either the speaker or the recipient recognized
the sarcasm as accurate, therefore making it not sarcastic at all even though
it was spoken sarcastically and the recipient heard it as sarcasm even though
it wasn't (or was) sarcastic- and on and on in an infinite loop of ambiguity.
That is a situation that is not possible to define using any
other word than ironic. It has no substitutes and is therefore beyond
definition. No other word or combination of words can come together to describe
an ironic situation. That fact itself is ironic because that means that irony cannot
be defined by any words other than itself. It is the only word in existence
that is its own definition. The irony of irony is that irony is ironic. Head
hurt yet? Because, I'm not done.
To define irony without the word "ironic" is
incorrect, but an incorrect definition of irony is also ironic because it has
no definition. I repeat, an incorrect definition of irony is an example of irony,
hence it is ironic and therefore a correct definition. ALL definitions of irony
are correct because they are all incorrect, hence they are all ironic. So, not only is there no way to define irony,
there is no way NOT to define irony.
Irony exists and does not exist simultaneously. It is both everything
and nothing. It is the definition of the universe, yet it has no definition.
The only way to describe a paradox like that is by saying it is ironic, and so
it loops back upon itself infinitely with no beginning and no end.
Flub of the Day:
"Springfield Police Charge One-Armed Man With Unarmed
Robbery."
Trick question: Is that an ironic title, or just a dumb pun?
Good Writing of the Day:
Ironic Yogi Berra quotes:
(Words strung together in any form count as writing even if
they were spoken right? If not, I invoke the power or irony to define these
quotes as writing.)
"This is like deja vu all over again."
"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the
same time?"
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where
you're going, because you might not get there."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is
physical."
"It was impossible to get a conversation going;
everybody was talking too much."
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
"Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the
time.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After
being told he looked cool.
"I'd say he's done more than that." -- When
asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current
season.
"I didn't really say everything I said."
And one more ironic quote from Bob Veale:
"Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and
vice versa."
